We saw Lord of the Rings last night. It was the second time for me and we went to see the Two Towers trailer at the end. For the most part, it was an enjoyable experience.

But (there's always a But), can you learn to turn your cell phone off? I mean, you're going see a movie. Is there any reason why it can't wait a hour and 1/2 or three hours? For like a dollar more a month, you can have something called "Voice Mail" (if you can't afford a dollar more a month, can you really afford that cell phone?). That way you can turn off your phone and you can still get a message. And, what's worse is the theater tells you before the movie starts to turn of cell phones and beepers.

It was a piviotal moment in the movie. (Spoliers, for the few who haven't seen Lord of the Rings, are coming). Boromir is shot 3 times with arrows and is dying. Strider/Arragon talks to him while he dies. This scene is all about Boromir's redemption, and that's a very emotional subject for me. I was working up a good cry (nope, not afraid to admit that). Until some jerks cell phone goes off, totally wrecking my concentration to shed a tear. I just wanted one tear. Just enough to be human, but not enough to have red eyes walking out the theater. But nothing, just a little welling up and that doesn't count.

I tried again at the end when Sam tells Frodo he won't leave him alone because Gandalf told him not to, but again with the digital beeping. And for the record, I have a cell phone. It fits in my pocket and it goes off when the lights go down.

People, turn off your cell phones and beepers. If not for the folks around you, then do it because you're spending 7 bucks to be entertained and you don't need the distraction.

Have you seen Sheryl Crow's latest video? VH-1 plays it a good bit. And before you ask, I see it at work, not at my cableless home...

Anyway, the song's groovy and the video is hot. My only question is has she had some plastic surgery done? She looks a little different in the video for "Soak Up the Sun." And I'm not sure if it's the tan, the whole look, or if she's had a little work done. I'm not complaining; she looks even better....

See what I mean...

There's just something about a chick rockin' out with an aucostic guitar...

Ozzy Osborne accepts invite to White House Dinner.

That's the headline. Of course,you wanna read it yourself, here.

Bush and Ozzy together at last. Actually, if you read the story, The Oz-man will be a guest of Greta Van Susteren and - this doesn't surprise me now - Fox News Channel.

Man, it sucks not having cable...

Here's some lyrics I wrote kinda recently. I'm sure it needs some fine tuning. It's about a person who is annoying enough to shove themselves in your life, but insignificant enough for you not to care about them. The working title is Visibly Invisible. I'm more of a lyricist than a songwriter, but I'm working on the music. If I just had some recording equipment.....but I digress...In my head I'm hearing a mellow tune. A little bit of finger-picked aucostic guitar over the verses. An organ, perhaps a Hammond B-3, over the chorus. High female harmony with a low rough male vocal melody. Everything builds up through the bridge and dies out for the last verse. And it ends on the last word, just hanging there like it's not finished...No, really, I haven't thought this one out...

VERSE 1
She doesn�t have a way to go.
North or South is just the same.
She wants to be my friend
And she hopes to fall in love again.

Tape-records everything she says
So she don�t forget the sound
She wants to be my friend
I�d prefer if she weren�t around

CHORUS:
Invisible, Insensitive
though sensitive and miserable
She�s visibly invisible
While she walks the streets of her home
And rain pours down washing away
All her hope and all her pain
Visibly Invisible
A soul sleep-walking nobody will miss.

VERSE 2
Says whatever�s on her mind
It don�t matter what the subject is
And what�s always on her mind
Is her life of suffering.

Sun comes out and she�s around
But when it rains, she turns to dust
She don�t know what age to act
She�s a life-force succubus

CHORUS

BRIDGE
Come to found out all her promises were lies
Desperate hearts don�t need no alibis.

VERSE 3
Got a call just a few days ago
Said she was sorry for being herself
She�s spins a web like medicine
I hung up without saying goodbye

- copyright 2002

Do you have a dishwasher? Did you know you're supposed to "pre-wash" your dishes before loading the dishwasher? I am learning this. I say "learning" because despite being told to do this, I still have trouble getting every single tiny little, cell-sized food particle off. I'm trying. I'm human.

This is my problem with "The Pre-Wash." The other day I was cleaning the kitchen and I get to a pile of dishes, glasses, pots and pans in the sink. Ok, time to load the dishwasher, so it's time to pre-wash. With the hot water running and my blue, one abrasive-scrubbing-side sponge, I begin the task at hand. Pre-wash the dish, place in the dishwasher. Pre-wash the glass, place on the top rack. Pre-wash the butter knife, place in the silverware holder. Pre-wash the bowl, place in the dishwasher. Wait a minute. That bowl isn't done. It still has food stuff stuck to it. Dried out Fruit Pebbles stuff to be exact. "Well, I'll just put a little more elbow grease into it," I tell myself, "That'll get rid of the stuck-on stuff." I'm sure I don't have to tell you, but that didn't work.

So what do you do? You can do what I did. Grab the liquid soap - the Dawn or Lemon Fresh Joy or whatever you use - and pour some all over the bowl. This will soften up the natural adhesive that is dried out Fruity Pebbles. It kinda works along the same likes as nail polish remover on crazy glue. Side note - Dried out Fruity Pebbles is stronger and dries quicker than crazy glue.

Now, with the crusty food stuff softened, I'm able to get every speck of Fruity Pebbles off the bowl with just a tiny bit of elbow grease. Thanks to the soap, the bowl is clean and the dishwasher is loaded. Wait a second. Re-read that statement. Thanks to the soap, the bowl is clean and the dishwasher is loaded. The bowl is clean and the dishwasher is loaded. The bowl is clean. THE BOWL IS CLEAN!

How in the heck did that happen? Isn't that why we have a dishwasher? (besides it coming with the apartment...) Why "pre-wash" when you can just add soap, exert the same energy, and get the job done yourself? That's my beef with "the pre-wash." Beef. That'll probably take a little soap to get that off too, I bet...