Things just got busy. That means I've started rehersals for "Into The Woods" at Footlite Musicals. The cast and crew are fantastic and it'll be disappointing if it's not a phenominal show. The costumes alone should be wonderful. And I say that will very little bias seeing how I'm married to the costumer.
And, I'm getting ill again. Second time this year. UGH! I'm trying that Zicam stuff out. It's supposed to help shorten the cold. So far, I'm just a little stuffy with more of a dry than sore feeling throat. If nothing else, I hope that I'm feeling as worse this cold will get. I think it was the weather that set my allergies off. Cold, then rainy, then warming up, then rainy.
Work certainly got interesting. I'm breaking a rule about blogging about work now, but I think I'll survive. Our department head resigned... as in the GM walked him out on Wednesday afternoon. He led us since July. Not a long tenure. But, in all truth, this was the guy I learned the most from. He was the closest thing to a mentor I've had in my career. Sure, he was a bit of a hard ass and hard to get along with at times, but I could deal with that 'cause I was learning ALOT. His name was Dick, so if nothing else, we're rolling in the dick jokes. But, I think we got alot more than that out of him. So, for that I thank him.
I joined the prayer ministry team at my church. It's a group of about 30 people that pray for the church, its leaders and for special prayer requests. My reasons for joining were a bit selfish. I'm a little uncomfortable with prayer but want to get better at it. I figure if I'm exposed to more opportunities to pray and people who can reflect a good prayer life/regime, well, I'll feel more comfortable praying and get better with practice.
Which leads me to the other day. I received an email for a special prayer request. We were asked to pray for a teenager who had an possible allergic reaction or maybe an overdose and was lying unconscious in the hospital, unable to breathe on his own. And this is the power that prayer has. The next day, I got an email saying how he had woke up and was asking for a Big Mac. Praise the Lord, he will be ok. I'm amazed at the power prayer has. You'd think with what wonderful blessing a good prayer life has to offer, that we'd spend more time conversing with God...
Saturday, March 11, 2006
Saturday, March 04, 2006
"Friending" Christ
(I wrote this article for The Crux's monthly newsletter.)
I don’t consider myself to be a “hip and trendy” guy. If I were eligible, I’d probably be a good candidate for Beauty and the Geek 3. And, I’m perfectly content with my “geek” status. The only time I feel ahead of the trend is when some computer or internet fad comes along. And right now, I feel pretty darn hip and trendy when I look at the body of the Crux.
For four years now, I’ve maintained a blog. I’ve also been a member of Myspace.com for about a half-year now. If you’re asking what’s a blog or what’s Myspace, then you maybe get an idea why I feel hip and trendy. If you’re asking what’s this internet he speaks of, well, it may be too late for you.
Basically, a blog is just an online journal with a collection of links. They can be targeted to specific subjects (politics is big) or all about someone’s life. Blogger and LiveJournal are two of the biggest (and free) blog authoring tools. Myspace.com allows users to network, meet people, and make friends from all over the world. It garners twice as many daily hits as Google and has eclipsed Friendster as the top social networking website. Both are great ways to get our message - God’s message of Faith, Hope and Love - out to the world.
The problem is most Cruxers I’ve talked to give me a funny look when I mention “blog” or “myspace.” I’m sure most of us have email accounts. Kendra wouldn’t bother with the Weekly Dish if we didn’t. That means most of us have internet access. So, are there any other bloggers or Myspace users at the Crux? If not, why not?
The internet can be a great, cheap easy way for Christians to spread God’s word. Back in November, Pastor Daron preached about the Great Commission (Matthew 28:16-20) and how we need to “go and make disciples of all nations.” Can you think of an easier way to potentially reach the whole world, or at least the estimated 730 million ‘net users worldwide?
Now, I don’t mean to sound like all it takes is a few keystrokes and *boom* the job is done. No, I realize it’s a little harder than that. But, the point I’m trying to make is we could be using the internet better than we currently are.
As a blogger, you can read through my website’s archives and see what Jesus has done for me. You can read about my life before and after finding God and see the difference He has made. And as the story continues, hopefully, I’m telling it in a way that not only keeps readers interested, but also sparks a story of their own. Now, isn’t that “witnessing?” Aren’t we supposed to be telling others how God’s love and Jesus’ sacrifice have helped us? Isn’t that what we’re called to do?
If our goal is to create a movement that affects this entire city, the entire state, and ultimately, the nation and the world, we need to start using the tools available to us now on mission. And right now, probably the best way to start is by letting the whole world witness our stories.
I don’t consider myself to be a “hip and trendy” guy. If I were eligible, I’d probably be a good candidate for Beauty and the Geek 3. And, I’m perfectly content with my “geek” status. The only time I feel ahead of the trend is when some computer or internet fad comes along. And right now, I feel pretty darn hip and trendy when I look at the body of the Crux.
For four years now, I’ve maintained a blog. I’ve also been a member of Myspace.com for about a half-year now. If you’re asking what’s a blog or what’s Myspace, then you maybe get an idea why I feel hip and trendy. If you’re asking what’s this internet he speaks of, well, it may be too late for you.
Basically, a blog is just an online journal with a collection of links. They can be targeted to specific subjects (politics is big) or all about someone’s life. Blogger and LiveJournal are two of the biggest (and free) blog authoring tools. Myspace.com allows users to network, meet people, and make friends from all over the world. It garners twice as many daily hits as Google and has eclipsed Friendster as the top social networking website. Both are great ways to get our message - God’s message of Faith, Hope and Love - out to the world.
The problem is most Cruxers I’ve talked to give me a funny look when I mention “blog” or “myspace.” I’m sure most of us have email accounts. Kendra wouldn’t bother with the Weekly Dish if we didn’t. That means most of us have internet access. So, are there any other bloggers or Myspace users at the Crux? If not, why not?
The internet can be a great, cheap easy way for Christians to spread God’s word. Back in November, Pastor Daron preached about the Great Commission (Matthew 28:16-20) and how we need to “go and make disciples of all nations.” Can you think of an easier way to potentially reach the whole world, or at least the estimated 730 million ‘net users worldwide?
Now, I don’t mean to sound like all it takes is a few keystrokes and *boom* the job is done. No, I realize it’s a little harder than that. But, the point I’m trying to make is we could be using the internet better than we currently are.
As a blogger, you can read through my website’s archives and see what Jesus has done for me. You can read about my life before and after finding God and see the difference He has made. And as the story continues, hopefully, I’m telling it in a way that not only keeps readers interested, but also sparks a story of their own. Now, isn’t that “witnessing?” Aren’t we supposed to be telling others how God’s love and Jesus’ sacrifice have helped us? Isn’t that what we’re called to do?
If our goal is to create a movement that affects this entire city, the entire state, and ultimately, the nation and the world, we need to start using the tools available to us now on mission. And right now, probably the best way to start is by letting the whole world witness our stories.
Friday, March 03, 2006
Stream of Consciousness V
I'm going stream of conscious on this. It's almost 11pm on a friggin' Friday night. What is there to talk about besides me being on a computer? *slaps the nerd alarm off*
The great thing about a portable DVD player is that, well, it's portable. I'm currently watching my favorite movie ever today, "Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle." And, I just realized David Krumholtz is in it. Who the hell is that? Mr. Universe in Serenity, the guy who does the math in CBS' Numbers, Ben (the old brother) in Slums of Beverly Hills, Bernard the Elf in The Santa Claus. Got who he is? Dude is probably the most underrated comedic character actor. I declare it now, David Krumholtz is my favorite actor. From now on when I get those forwarded email surveys that ask the same questions, under favorite actor, I will answer David Krumholtz. Of all the comedic actors working today, he is the ultimate. Like Johnny Depp, he gets lost in the character so you don't notice the actor, just the character.
Not really interested in the Oscars this year. Haven't seen a single movie that's up for something. That's not entirely true, I believe Harry Potter 4 is up for some technical award or something. Didn't see Brokeback, Didn't see Capote, Didn't see George Clooney in anything. My pick for Best Movie of the year 2005? I say this with complete and utter sincerity: Serenity. If you have to ask why, well, then we need to have movie night...
Oh! There's David again! Goldstein. I swear I've watched this movie about 100 times and never saw him in that character. Oh, to be so good in my craft to pull off the line, (when referring to Katie Holmes' boobs) "Remember the Holocaust? The exactly opposite of that." Wow!
Sometimes, the words just don't come. You try to be all genius-like and all, but occasionally, the way you string them together just plan suck. I figure if I get the sucky ones out the way, the good one will come the next time or two.
Ok, that's enough for now. I'm craving White Castle.
The great thing about a portable DVD player is that, well, it's portable. I'm currently watching my favorite movie ever today, "Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle." And, I just realized David Krumholtz is in it. Who the hell is that? Mr. Universe in Serenity, the guy who does the math in CBS' Numbers, Ben (the old brother) in Slums of Beverly Hills, Bernard the Elf in The Santa Claus. Got who he is? Dude is probably the most underrated comedic character actor. I declare it now, David Krumholtz is my favorite actor. From now on when I get those forwarded email surveys that ask the same questions, under favorite actor, I will answer David Krumholtz. Of all the comedic actors working today, he is the ultimate. Like Johnny Depp, he gets lost in the character so you don't notice the actor, just the character.
Not really interested in the Oscars this year. Haven't seen a single movie that's up for something. That's not entirely true, I believe Harry Potter 4 is up for some technical award or something. Didn't see Brokeback, Didn't see Capote, Didn't see George Clooney in anything. My pick for Best Movie of the year 2005? I say this with complete and utter sincerity: Serenity. If you have to ask why, well, then we need to have movie night...
Oh! There's David again! Goldstein. I swear I've watched this movie about 100 times and never saw him in that character. Oh, to be so good in my craft to pull off the line, (when referring to Katie Holmes' boobs) "Remember the Holocaust? The exactly opposite of that." Wow!
Sometimes, the words just don't come. You try to be all genius-like and all, but occasionally, the way you string them together just plan suck. I figure if I get the sucky ones out the way, the good one will come the next time or two.
Ok, that's enough for now. I'm craving White Castle.
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Never Ending Story
Just so you know, he's not gay. And, from the relatively brief conversation we had, it sounds like the same old guy - always looking for some tail. After playing phone tag for a few days, my friend from high school and I finally talked. I was a little awkward, not knowing if I was ready to deal with pain from the past. But, I realize now I should thank God for the opportunity to deal with and heal any pain. Running away and hiding only works for so long, you know. So, yeah, we exchanged emails and I'm actually looking forward to getting to reconnect.
God works in some funny ways. My friend was talking about going to Kuwait for work. Something I couldn't explain dealing with computers. But, maybe this is an opportunity to reach out to a non-believer (assuming he is a non-believer, sounds like he could be). So, while it might be difficult for me to deal with my stupid emotions, if that's a side effect of expanding God's kingdom, then, so be it.
So, I imagine I could be posting about this alot. Which could be bad. I mean, that last post was probably the most honest (read: unflattering to me) post I have ever made. But, then again, it's only the beginning of the story. And every story has to begin somewhere, it has to have some drama for there to be a story. And most importantly, the drama in the story should lead to change in the characters'... um... character.
One thing I take pride in with my blog is being completely honest about my thoughts and feelings. When I put myself in a negative light, then, I think it builds my integrity. Yes, I might sound like an asshole to some, but the whole point of this blog goes down the toliet if you, the reader, cannot take everything I post as 100% real and true. So, when I show my ugly side, it only makes the beautiful parts that much prettier. Like when I talk about how much God has done for me.
When I started this blog four years ago, I didn't really know why or what for. I guess I just wanted to put my opinions on the internet. Why? I don't know, maybe it's ego. But, as I'm learning, God has plans for everything. And, now, I think perhaps the reason I started blogging was to prepare me for his future plans. Now, this blog has become about the life of a Christian trying to walk in Jesus's footsteps. I'm not a preacher and I'm not perfect. I am tempted by sin and I do give in. Thankfully, God forgives me and I try harder the next time temptation rings my bell. Maybe someone will read this someday and realize how empty their life is and turn to Christ for help.
Anyone in the world can access this site, people who know me, people who have never met me. They all have access to my archives and I'd like to think that they can see how God is transforming my life. I have probably lost a few friends who don't understand true, real Christianity. Then again, if a lost soul or two stumble across this site (and I have no doubt God has or will bring them here), maybe my spiritual journey will spark a flame in them that has yet to be ignited or was previously extinguished. That's why I'm doing this - ugly and all. I'm writing about my experiences so the world knows that God is responsible for the wonderful changes in my life. I could not and cannot do them myself. This blog is my way of expressing the hope that God gives me, and hopefully, the love I experience works on the hearts of whoever reads about it. And, the story never ends... (until, maybe, when I die, but we're not gonna talk about that. It's just gonna happen one day and then, maybe, I'll be leaving a "legacy")
God works in some funny ways. My friend was talking about going to Kuwait for work. Something I couldn't explain dealing with computers. But, maybe this is an opportunity to reach out to a non-believer (assuming he is a non-believer, sounds like he could be). So, while it might be difficult for me to deal with my stupid emotions, if that's a side effect of expanding God's kingdom, then, so be it.
So, I imagine I could be posting about this alot. Which could be bad. I mean, that last post was probably the most honest (read: unflattering to me) post I have ever made. But, then again, it's only the beginning of the story. And every story has to begin somewhere, it has to have some drama for there to be a story. And most importantly, the drama in the story should lead to change in the characters'... um... character.
One thing I take pride in with my blog is being completely honest about my thoughts and feelings. When I put myself in a negative light, then, I think it builds my integrity. Yes, I might sound like an asshole to some, but the whole point of this blog goes down the toliet if you, the reader, cannot take everything I post as 100% real and true. So, when I show my ugly side, it only makes the beautiful parts that much prettier. Like when I talk about how much God has done for me.
When I started this blog four years ago, I didn't really know why or what for. I guess I just wanted to put my opinions on the internet. Why? I don't know, maybe it's ego. But, as I'm learning, God has plans for everything. And, now, I think perhaps the reason I started blogging was to prepare me for his future plans. Now, this blog has become about the life of a Christian trying to walk in Jesus's footsteps. I'm not a preacher and I'm not perfect. I am tempted by sin and I do give in. Thankfully, God forgives me and I try harder the next time temptation rings my bell. Maybe someone will read this someday and realize how empty their life is and turn to Christ for help.
Anyone in the world can access this site, people who know me, people who have never met me. They all have access to my archives and I'd like to think that they can see how God is transforming my life. I have probably lost a few friends who don't understand true, real Christianity. Then again, if a lost soul or two stumble across this site (and I have no doubt God has or will bring them here), maybe my spiritual journey will spark a flame in them that has yet to be ignited or was previously extinguished. That's why I'm doing this - ugly and all. I'm writing about my experiences so the world knows that God is responsible for the wonderful changes in my life. I could not and cannot do them myself. This blog is my way of expressing the hope that God gives me, and hopefully, the love I experience works on the hearts of whoever reads about it. And, the story never ends... (until, maybe, when I die, but we're not gonna talk about that. It's just gonna happen one day and then, maybe, I'll be leaving a "legacy")
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Like, So High School
We’re digging up memories from high school (*shudder*) for this one. Continue at your own risk…
Last night, I received a call on my cell phone. I didn’t recognize the number, so I didn’t answer. If it’s so important, they can leave a message. Usually, they don’t and I assume it’s a wrong number. Not so this time. No, this time, a message was left (Caution - High School Memories ahead).
The call was from a guy who was my best friend from 8th to 10th grade, maybe part of 11th grade. My timeline might be off – most of my junior and high school memories have been vaulted. But, his voice mail said that he was tracking down old friends and he got my cell number from my parents (I REALLY hate it when they do that. Take a message and give me the choice, please).
Anyway, when I listened to the voicemail, I was… nonplussed… hear who called. Have I ever mentioned that I’m an ass? High School, and especially junior high, was a terrible part of my life that I think I’m finally getting over. At least, over enough to forget about all the drama and be content with not having to associate with the jerks who plagued my teenage years. There’s maybe two people I would like to get in touch with, mainly just to thank them for never being a jerk to me (High School Memories - Do Not Enter!).
In retrospect, my high school years were probably not nearly as bad as I think they were in the sense that, at least, I wasn’t the lowest peck on the totem pole. If high school experiences are measured by who you mock, well, there were still people I felt was above. That’s a jerky thing to say, but that’s how horrible I felt at the time. I was far from popular and too smart for my own good. At least, I was under the radar enough to not get stuffed in a locker. Or maybe I was to fat for that. I digress… (Last Exit for 20 miles).
All of that to say, I really don’t want to answer the phone next time he calls. I think I have some abandonment issues when it came to high school. The two really close friends I did have left me all alone in my last two years.
I’m not really sure what happened with one. He had to move for some reason… was it a divorce, juvenile delinquency? Maybe both. I think it was the latter and we lost touch. The other, the one that called, basically emancipated himself from his family and joined the army. Both left me alone in the cruel halls of mine alma mater. This might be the memory block talking, but I don’t remember being as close to anyone else in high school after they left. I don’t remember feeling comfortable just hanging out with anyone else from high school. My senior year, I was depressed enough to warrant seeing a shrink for a while.
So, yeah, high school sucked for me. But now, this guy is calling me and according to his message will call back. He left me his numbers to contact him at, but I accidentally (or maybe sub-consciously) deleted the message before I could write it down. So, I have to wait for his call. Will I be an ass and not answer? I really don’t know what I’m going to do…
Then, I distinctly remember him ending the message, “I’ll talk to you later, girl.” I’m paraphrasing but I definitely called me, “girl.” Girl. Last time I saw him was at his wedding probably 10 years ago. Haven’t spoken to him since. Yes, I’m an ass.
There are a million things going on in my head now thanks to “girl.” Did he come out? I wouldn’t have expected that from him. Is he divorced? Maybe he came out and his wife left him? His brother was gay and he had problems with that. Maybe he had some homosexual repression going on? Oh God, is he calling to hit on me? He knows I’m married and most definitely NOT gay (unlike Eddie – had to dude), right? Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I mean, I’ve got a lot of gay friends. If there’s anything I’m not, it’s homophobic.
Ok, settle down. He’s probably just calling to get in touch with high school friends, like his message said. My problem with that is that I don’t want to be in touch with him or anyone from high school. I said it before, I’m an ass. But, I’m not the person I was in high school and I don’t want to be. And, me picking up when he calls back is really about who do I want to be.
I don’t want to be an ass. I want to be the kind of person who is mature and who can deal with his own pain and bullshit. I want to be the kind of person who doesn’t care about feeling awkward as long as he’s doing the right thing. I want to be humble, selfless, loving and kind.
We all have our issues. We all have our pasts we’re not proud of or happy with. But, without those painful memories, we cannot be who we are today and who we are meant to be. And, I guess for me right now that means I’m waiting for the phone to ring.
Last night, I received a call on my cell phone. I didn’t recognize the number, so I didn’t answer. If it’s so important, they can leave a message. Usually, they don’t and I assume it’s a wrong number. Not so this time. No, this time, a message was left (Caution - High School Memories ahead).
The call was from a guy who was my best friend from 8th to 10th grade, maybe part of 11th grade. My timeline might be off – most of my junior and high school memories have been vaulted. But, his voice mail said that he was tracking down old friends and he got my cell number from my parents (I REALLY hate it when they do that. Take a message and give me the choice, please).
Anyway, when I listened to the voicemail, I was… nonplussed… hear who called. Have I ever mentioned that I’m an ass? High School, and especially junior high, was a terrible part of my life that I think I’m finally getting over. At least, over enough to forget about all the drama and be content with not having to associate with the jerks who plagued my teenage years. There’s maybe two people I would like to get in touch with, mainly just to thank them for never being a jerk to me (High School Memories - Do Not Enter!).
In retrospect, my high school years were probably not nearly as bad as I think they were in the sense that, at least, I wasn’t the lowest peck on the totem pole. If high school experiences are measured by who you mock, well, there were still people I felt was above. That’s a jerky thing to say, but that’s how horrible I felt at the time. I was far from popular and too smart for my own good. At least, I was under the radar enough to not get stuffed in a locker. Or maybe I was to fat for that. I digress… (Last Exit for 20 miles).
All of that to say, I really don’t want to answer the phone next time he calls. I think I have some abandonment issues when it came to high school. The two really close friends I did have left me all alone in my last two years.
I’m not really sure what happened with one. He had to move for some reason… was it a divorce, juvenile delinquency? Maybe both. I think it was the latter and we lost touch. The other, the one that called, basically emancipated himself from his family and joined the army. Both left me alone in the cruel halls of mine alma mater. This might be the memory block talking, but I don’t remember being as close to anyone else in high school after they left. I don’t remember feeling comfortable just hanging out with anyone else from high school. My senior year, I was depressed enough to warrant seeing a shrink for a while.
So, yeah, high school sucked for me. But now, this guy is calling me and according to his message will call back. He left me his numbers to contact him at, but I accidentally (or maybe sub-consciously) deleted the message before I could write it down. So, I have to wait for his call. Will I be an ass and not answer? I really don’t know what I’m going to do…
Then, I distinctly remember him ending the message, “I’ll talk to you later, girl.” I’m paraphrasing but I definitely called me, “girl.” Girl. Last time I saw him was at his wedding probably 10 years ago. Haven’t spoken to him since. Yes, I’m an ass.
There are a million things going on in my head now thanks to “girl.” Did he come out? I wouldn’t have expected that from him. Is he divorced? Maybe he came out and his wife left him? His brother was gay and he had problems with that. Maybe he had some homosexual repression going on? Oh God, is he calling to hit on me? He knows I’m married and most definitely NOT gay (unlike Eddie – had to dude), right? Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I mean, I’ve got a lot of gay friends. If there’s anything I’m not, it’s homophobic.
Ok, settle down. He’s probably just calling to get in touch with high school friends, like his message said. My problem with that is that I don’t want to be in touch with him or anyone from high school. I said it before, I’m an ass. But, I’m not the person I was in high school and I don’t want to be. And, me picking up when he calls back is really about who do I want to be.
I don’t want to be an ass. I want to be the kind of person who is mature and who can deal with his own pain and bullshit. I want to be the kind of person who doesn’t care about feeling awkward as long as he’s doing the right thing. I want to be humble, selfless, loving and kind.
We all have our issues. We all have our pasts we’re not proud of or happy with. But, without those painful memories, we cannot be who we are today and who we are meant to be. And, I guess for me right now that means I’m waiting for the phone to ring.
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