Everything from my head to the end of my spine is sore, save my stomach, which can't decide if it wants things to go up or down. I'm quite pale, tired and a little out of breath. My body aches with coolness, yet I'm sweating buckets. This can mean only one thing....

The aliens are coming for their baby.

I should just leave it at that and let you wonder. But I won't. It's probably a stomach virus. But that's just what they want you to believe. In reality, aliens are using my body to breed something. I'm not sure if it's more alien babies or some human/alien hybrid. Most likely the latter. A little back story now....

...At some point during my teen years, I developed 3 vertical scars on my stomach. They just appeared one day and I didn't think anything of it. Mind you, I have never had any kind of surgery or accident that would produce these scars. Except for when the aliens perform a C-section to get their baby out of me. You see, these aches and pains are really labor pains. And obviously, since there's no place for any baby to come out of my body, they do a C-section which is the cause of the scarring.

It was 3 or 4 years ago, I noticed this trend. I would start feeling like this and then the next day I'd be fine and a new scar appeared on my stomach. There's 5 scars now and likely a new one tomorrow.

This is what I think happens: I start having these labor pains and the aliens are alerted by kind of microchip or something. Then, during the night, they somehow get me to sleep because the pain is very hard to sleep though. I haven't figured out how yet. When I am in some deep alien-induced coma, they take me to their spaceship, probably through teleportation, and perform a C-section on me. Once the procedure is done, they sew me back and and return me.

My theory would explain why I haven't been able to lose weight. The "alien womb" inside of me prevents me from doing so. I mean, there's no place for it to go, so I am forced to have this gut. I also surmise that the foods I eat give the alien baby nutrition.

So that's why I'm feeling quesy. But tomorrow, I'm sure tomorrow I'll be elated as I will have once again given birth to some alien's baby. Or maybe if it goes bad, they'll blame me and "dispose" of my body, for its no longer useful to them.


;-)