Friday, May 31, 2002

Some of the Warnings on the side of Children's Benadryl* (with editoral comments by me.):

Warnings: DO NOT USE

-- if you are now taking a prescription monoamine oxidase inhibitor (MAOI) (certain drugs for depression, psychiatric, or emotional conditions or Parkinson's disease), or for 2 weeks after stopping the MAOI drug. If you do not know if your prescription drug contains an MAOI, ask a doctor or pharmacist before taking this product. (Ok, nothing majorly eye-popping, many kids are depressed, psycho, or other wise.)


-- taking sedatives or tranquilzers. (So in otherwords, not before bedtime....)

-- avoid alcoholic drinks. (Sorry, JR, no martinis tonight, what with your runny nose and all...)

-- alcohol, sedatives and tranquilzers may increase drowsiness. (Really covering themselves there, eh?)

-- be careful when driving a motor vehicle or operating machinery ('Cause most 7 year olds have a license...)

-- excitability may occur, especially in children (WTF? I thought this would knock them out so the wife and I could have our fun...)

If pregnant or breast-feeding, ask a health professional before use. (1 - the bold is on the box; 2 - Do I really have to say it?)

(and finally, my favorite warning on the bottle of Children's Benadryl...)

Keep out of reach of children. (Again, the bold is theirs)

I don't think there is anything else to say about this...

Hey,Watch the Frog. Sure.

*Not all warnings are listed here, just the really silly ones.

Thursday, May 30, 2002

My boss is one of those Very un-P.C. kinda guys. That's why I like him. He showed me this and I had to pass it along.

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog in Return of the Dorks.

Its about 10 minutes long and should play in Windows Media Player. And put your drink down...

Wednesday, May 29, 2002

Finally a quiz I can relate to...

You're Steve's "crack addict" hairstyle. You like appearing as a tough person, but really you constantly but up shields to block others out. Your sometimes crazed appearence have made others afraid of you. You're rigidity also can be seen when you're defending either an opinion or yourself. No one would want to get into a fight with you.

Find out which bad BNL hairstyle you are at

Tuesday, May 28, 2002

I found this on the AP wires....

(Fort Wayne, Indiana-AP) -- How about a beer with lunch? Or make that beer in your lunch. Two Purdue University students have created a beer-flavored spice. Lab partners Luke Meyers and Michelle Kelly came up with powdered brew as part of a college project. They converted non-alcoholic beer into a freeze-dried powder that can be sprinkled on food. They found classmates liked the beer flavor to spice-up chips or popcorn. The brew powder can even be used to make instant beer for campers or hikers. Just add soda water and alcohol and presto -- you a have brewski. The beer spice experiment turned out so well, Purdue officials are considering a patent. If the product makes it to market, the school and the students will share in the proceeds.

Same thing, different version here.

A beer-flavored spice. Sounds good to me. Just think of all the foods beer spice could enhance. Liver and Onions would be a treat. And I might actually admit to liking broccolli as long as it was smeared in beer-spiced melted cheese. Just let me know when they have an Abita Amber flavor since I can't find my favorite beer anywhere around here (except for $3.25 a bottle at Hungry's - ain't paying that much).

Saturday, May 25, 2002

Does anyone else think its kinda funny that the only thing that's grey here is the horizontal rule lines???

Friday, May 24, 2002

If you're visiting and things start looking weird, that's because I'm experimenting with html and this don't freak out. It's just me and thanks for your patience....

Thursday, May 23, 2002

Well, it looks like I'll have a little bit of free (um...Free-er?) time on my hands, and possibly enough to do a little bit of site enhancements here. I'm trying to decide what else this place needs, and I have a few ideas, but I'd love to hear more. So, if you got any ideas let me know.

Wednesday, May 22, 2002

Just so you know, he scarfed down the hamburger, but he didn't like the chicken wings.

Tuesday, May 21, 2002

Happy Birthday to the best 9 year old boy ever!!!!

Namely, my boy. Wow! I really can't believe it's been just over 5 years since I entered his life. And how wonderfully he's grown. Such a mature kid. I can't begin to tell you how proud I am to be partly responsible for raising such an astute and talented little mind. I never thought I'd be a father figure today, but its one of the best joys of my life.

Since we already celebrated his birthday over the weekend, we're just gonna take him out to eat tonight. I was talking to him about where he wanted to go eat. The conversation went like this:

"Where do you want to go eat for your birthday tomorrow?"

"Burger King."

"No, we need to go somewhere better than Burger King. How about something like Tortuga's (Tex-Mex restaurant)"


"Ok, what about Luther's (BBQ) or Joe's Crab Shack?"

"I don't like Joe's Crab Shack"

"Ok, then, how about Wing Stop (Chicken Wings)."

*Thinking: "They have to take me where I want for my birthday. So might as well try it"*

"Can we go to Hooters??"

"'ll have to talk to your mother about that...."

*Thinking: "That's my boy"*

Sunday, May 19, 2002

My knocks have been socked off... We did 2 ubergeek-happy movies today. Spider-man and Star Wars: Attack of the Clones. I'm still absorbing it all. We saw Spider-man first. On the ride home, I said that I didn't know which was better because Spider-man wasn't quite as good as I thought it would be and Star Wars was better than I thought (damn me for listening to the critics). Right now, I think I'm leaning towards Spider-man, but I don'thtink I can choose. I think I need to see them both again, which I'm sure I will...

Tobey Maquire was great as Peter Parker. And you could tell Sam Raimi was the director because the fight scenes reminded me of the fast-pacedness ('cause that's really a word there...) of the Evil Dead Trilogy. My god, Willem Dafoe. The faces that man makes on his downward sprial into insanity. I think the Green Goblin came very close to being a better movie villian than Jack Nickelson's Joker. If it wasn't for that mask, if the mouth would have moved, that would have put him over the top. And I think I'm just gonna leave my thoughts on Kirsten Dunst in my head (*wiping the drool off my chin*), you really don't wanna read that anyway. :D

Star Wars....Well, I have to say I really liked it. And for now, I'm gonna just look past the few bad things. Like (watch me get really nit-picky now), Padme is a cocktease. No, Anakin, we can't love each other, but I'm gonna parade around you in this flowing, backless and shoulderless dress. Seriously, I wasn't very perturbed by the lovestory. I enjoyed it. The whole movie in fact. Ewan McGregor continues to amaze me, but I too would get sick of being called his "Young Padawan Learner." He just says that a helluvalot. And, yes, Yoda kicks.

But can someone please explain how C-3P0 works on that moisture farm, but doesn't remember dink about it in A New Hope? Or why R2 never flew before? Or how these two became such quick friends in this one?

Lucas let someone else direct the last one. You just concentrate on the technology, design and story, but not the screenplay.

Friday, May 17, 2002

Buckle Up. It's time for what will undoubtedly become a rant on religion...

So, I'm producing a promo about a news story on a church that uses Hip-Hop to reach out to its congregation. Big Boss Man's (the departmen head) great promo copy for this story is along the lines of "Will you go to heaven if you're rapping at the Rapture?" He tells me this. I tell him that I never heard of the Rapture until my wife made me read the Left Behind Books (a great work of fiction based on the Bible's Revelations, and a little on the preachy side, too). That's because Catholic's don't believe in the Rapture. I went on to tell him that the Bible I was given by the Catholic Church didn't have anything about the Rapture in it. At that point, my supervisor walked in. She's devout. Oh, in case you don't know, I have denounced Catholicism and Christianity. (Do you smell the sit-com?)

Anyway, she asks me about some verse about the Rapture, "So, such and such verse (she has it memorized) isn't in your Bible." Not a thing about it, I replied. I further told them that the Bible the Catholics gave me was so screwed up (In MY opinion), citing a passage from the Old Testament. And I quote, "God hates Homosexuals." I'm sorry, but that's just a message of hate there. How can I take this religion seriously? She started to say something about her Bible doesn't say that exactly, but holds to that ideals. I didn't want to get into a religious discussion at that moment because I needed to get home and I probably would have regretting saying everything I felt about organized religion to my supervisor.

But, I'll tell you. And you probably won't like it, but I think Jesse Ventura just about hit the nail on the head when he said Organized Religion was for weak-minded people. So, you see, it would probably have not been a good thing for me to basically tell my supervisor I thought she was weak-minded.

Back to the "God hate homosexuals" thing. What a message of hate that is...Doesn't God want us to be happy? Why would he have a problem with a man loving another man if that makes them happy? Or woman loving another woman? This message is obviously intended to control the thoughts and actions of weak-minded individuals. To think that God would cast ye down to the pits of Hell because you were happy and in love...that's just ridiculous.

I really can't wait for my supervisor to try and save my soul. It's gonna be real fun playing devil's advocate. Sorry for the bad pun.

Monday, May 13, 2002

It is now apparently official office policy that the people in my department are not allowed to eat lunch at our desks. Just my department. Why? Apparently, we eat stinky food. One person, just ONE person in an office building of about 100 folks, was been complaining that the smell from our office at lunch makes her stomach turn. So the other day was the last straw. She apparently smelled something at around 4:30pm and complained. The offender that day: Well, we believe it was meatloaf. By the way, its the busy season, so we have to eat at our desks to get work done. This policy is so ridiculous on so many levels. What's next? Employees can't use Irish Spring soap because one person doesn't like tha smell? It can get that stupid. We're fighting this insepid policy. If we can't eat at our desks, then no one should be allowed to.

Heh, a few of us have thought the best way to deal with this is fight from within the system. We're planning on all eating really odorous food (not necessarily foul smelling foods, but stuff like fish or garlic and onions) in the kitchen/dining area while the complainer eats her lunch. Maybe if we took over control of the TV, too.

*Evil Pure Evil*

Tuesday, May 07, 2002

It's official!

I'm lame. My parents saw Spiderman before I did. I still haven't seen it yet. But, in my defense, we're holding out until the kid's birthday for a movie blowout bonaza! Spiderman, Attack of the Clones, and The Scorpion King, if we can fit the latter in, all in one day!!! I better make sure to bring a bottle to pee in...

Monday, May 06, 2002

Quote of the Week:

"First of all, they both love their families. They both partied a little too hard when they were younger. Half the time you can't understand a word either one of them is saying. And neither one of them can make a move without their wife's approval."

-- Drew Carey, speaking at The White House Correspondant's Dinner, referring to the simularities between President Bush and Ozzy Osbourne.

Wednesday, May 01, 2002

"Can I go outside and run around?" the shyly girl asked. That was fine with her mother as long as she stayed in a certain area. It wasn't very big, maybe 40 yards square, if that. But she just wanted to run, and that was ok.

I watched her bolt out the door and run as fast as her legs would take her. She circled the yard one time and came right back in. Satisfied and content.

I remembered that feeling of freedom.

I smiled.