Sunday, January 30, 2005

Gimme down to there hair...

Someone got their hair cut! (Click here to see a pic) Trimmed up the beard, too. No, it was not in response to Citibank's commercial. Heh...

I didn't go through with the previously mentioned baptism. It wasn't quite my time I don't think. Though, I am expecting that God and I will do quite alot of conversing about my eventual baptism, or re-dedication.

There were two people who did get baptized today. It was a very emotional ceremony. And not all... ritualistic. That's what I liked about it. There wasn't the 1000 questions you answer "I do" or "I will" to like in Catholic baptisms. The Pastor just said a few good words and played a videotape telling the "story" of the two being baptized. That is to say, a video of them explaining what being dunked into water meant to them. Very emotional stuff. I was quite moved.

With Godspell, maybe it's asking alot, but I really think the rehersal process for this show will help transform me into a betteer person. I'm imagining that it will be a time for personal insight and growth. It's both exciting and a little bit frightening...

Friday, January 28, 2005

I'm not THAT big...

Perhaps, you've seen a recent Citibank commerical. It starts of with a big, kinda goofy-looking black guy in sweats at a gym weighing himself. The scale shows him to be 249lbs. He then gets off the scale, puts his headphones on and starts jogging. He makes one small, little lap around the exercise gear and steps back on the scale. It still reads 249lbs. Cue the annoucer who says something like "Expect faster rewards with Citibank New Humdinger Fancy-Pants Fast Rewards Debit Card." I'm paraphrasing... Have you seen this commercial? I bet you have.

That is a great commercial. The ad agency who put this campaign together did a really great job with it. Except for one thing. You'd hardly even notice. And to get this, you will have to see the commercial.

What's my problem with this commercial? There is NO FUCKING WAY IN HELL THAT GUY WEIGHS 249lbs! I weight *ahem* slightly more than that and I am NOT that big! Several of my male friends are around that weight and are NOT that big! There is no way that cat is under 300lbs and that is being quite generous.

Women have put up with society and Cosmo telling them what "thin" and "beauty" are for ages. Is it finally becoming men's turn to feel fat? Of course, men know they're fat, so maybe not. But, still, my fragile ego has been dealt a blow.

It's nothing but low-carb fluids, tae-bo and bikram yoga for me now. I can't let the world see my hideous dome of cellulite formed by buffalo wings, burger, Chinese buffets and beer (The Four Food Groups, by the way)... No, I'm too ashamed... Where's that damn website that shows you how to live anorexically?

Thank you, Citibank and your ad agency, for making countless Big Men feel really small...

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Inauguration Question

Here's a question for you... President Bush is already the President of the United States. He was re-elected for another four years. Why does he has to be re-inaugurated? Doesn't the oath still apply or is there a "for the next 4 years" clause in the oath?

Come to think of it, why did any of the re-elected presidents have to give the oath again? Here's where I'm coming from. They've already given the oath once. Isn't it a bit of a waste of taxpayer money to do it again? Especially as lavish has these events tend to be? I'm asking for a history lesson, not criticizing the administration, by the way.

When I'm elected to become president in 2026, I promise you now that I will not have some big fancy-pants party. It'll be me, the swearing-in Justice, some media and photogs, and my family. I'll raise my right hand and put my left hand on the Bible, make my oath, smile for a few pictures. Then, I'll say, "Ok, I hate to run, but I have to get to work."

I can almost understand some big event the first time. But a second time and on the taxpayers dime. Well, I just think the money could be spent a little better. Even if all the funds are from private donatations, that money could be better spent... like instead of a $40 million party, send that money to Tsunami relief or something...

Check out the 55th Presidental Inauguration website. It's chock full of information like how you can get tickets to the big event or see how much and who has donated. Quite interesting...

Monday, January 10, 2005

The Next Big Step

My Pastor called me the other day. He told me that the church was going to be having a biggish Baptism celebration later this month. He told me this because based on previous conversations he knows that I have decided to rededicate my life to serving God and Christ. He asked me if I would like to be baptized. I told him that when I was baptized when I was a newborn. He thought that I should at least consider it. We will probably meet for lunch and discuss it.

But, I don't know how I feel about the idea of being baptized again. Maybe it's something I should do to show my dedication to God and the life he has planned for me. Another part of me says I don't need to do that 'cause he already knows. Yet another part of me is saying don't do it because then you'll have "joined the cult." That's not meant to be offensive, I just mean that my spiritual journey is meant only for myself, to be experienced by only me and is between myself, God and JC. A little part of me is still turned off by organized mass religion. I can't help that; the cynic in me won't let me jump of the bridge without thinking about all the possibilities. I worried about drinking the kool-aid, sort to speak.

Honestly, even though I'm doing my best to better my relationship with God and Christ, I still feel kinda... fake. Here I am trying to change my faith and belief system and the "old one" still wants to rule the roost.

I think part of the reason I'm afraid of the whole Baptism thing is that I am still clinging to my old ways of thinking. I'm trying to figure out how to make my old beliefs fit with my new found faith. I don't feel like I should be baptized again until I can rectify that. It wouldn't feel right. I would feel like I'm trying to pull the wool over God's eyes and just pretending to live a righteous life. You can talk about living a certain way, but it's a completely different thing to actually live like that.

When I go to my church, I very much enjoy the experience. I do feel closer to God. But, I also feel like I'm sitting around a bunch of people who "get it" and that I'm just there going through the motions, at least compared to these lucky folks. Like all these other folks are going to heaven and they're looking at me like, "Well, he's just faking it; he's not good enough, like we are." I'm still uncomfortable around all these "church-goers" because my old beliefs don't want to go away. I've been quite leary of "Christians" in the past. It's hard getting that out of my system. Of course, some of that is probably a little social anxiety creeping in. I don't exactly reach out and socialize when I'm at church. That's my problem, not anyone else's. I'm working on it...

Still, I've been trying to listen more to God and do what He wants me to do. Maybe, my Pastor calling and asking me to think about Baptism is God's way of showing me "the Way." Maybe just him calling is actually... Him calling. Maybe I should just listen to Him. Think of the symbolism - washing away my old beliefs and accepting new ones. Isn't that what Baptism is about?

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Free Time (What's that?)

The show is over. It was spectacular. If you missed it, you really missed out. Despite, oh, about half the cast getting sick in the last weekend, "Joseph" really was quite a colorful feast for the eyes. And, as a bonus, the scale was down to 254 yesterday morning. Loss of about 8 pounds just doing the show. We're all praying that I don't gain it back, right?

What I don't mind gaining back is some free time. My nights are free again. I can hang with the family. I will see my son for more than 2 minutes in the morning before he goes to school. I can finally watch "Lost" as it airs and not on tape (Lord, that is a brilliant show). I can read the Bible, as opposed to performing it. Until Godspell rehersals anyway (Nice seque).

That starts at the end of the month. It runs sometime from mid-March into April and I am promising now that I am stopping for a long time after that. After that, I'm taking a break from acting until next winter at the earliest.

But, until then, I am mucho... um... excitedo... about being in Godspell. I've wanted to be apart of this show since I was five. One of the local TV stations would show the movie occassionally on Saturday nights. I remember it always started at 10:35pm. I tried and tried to stay up late enough with my sister to watch it. John would sing "Prepare Ye the way of the Lord," and I would be out well before "Day by Day." Every friggin' time. It wasn't until about 5 years ago I finally saw the whole movie. And I've never seen the stage version.

My sister and I would play-act to the vinyl album. I was the guy parts, she the girl, of course. Except when duets required us both to sing. The vinyl LP is still in my collection. I can see it from here, just sitting there begging me to put it on.

Anyway, here's the free time to spend with family and friends. And playing Madden 2005 on the PS2. And, (rejoice!) daily blog posts... Ok, no promises, but at least I have the time to do that, if only for a few weeks.

Until the next post, I'll leave you with this. It's a WMA audio file (probably need Winplayer to hear it) of my solo song from "Joseph." The song is "Go Go Joseph" and I played the Butler. We revamped my part a bit. *ahem* The file is about 8 minutes long. My solo is around 2:11 into it. Well, I don't sing until about 2:31 in. It's not CD quality but you get the idea, but it's not bad considering the audio is from a video camera mic stuck somewhere in the audience.... ENJOY!