Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Haikus

Haikus about my life:

Birdie Auditions
come quickly like Danica.
But, what song to sing?

I'm sorry for the
last entry in ML's blog.
Subject was shitty.

Lose weight for trip home.
Forty pounds by Christmas time.
Eat better, workout.

Pulling my hair out
with kid forgetting to turn
in school assignments.

Work is just that, Work.
But, lucky to call watching
funny sitcoms "work."

Thank you, God, daily.
Prayer regimen taking root.
Serenity now.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Things you didn't want to know

It's time to change my eating habits. Beside the health benefits, I don't think my intestines can handle the crap I feed myself with. I finally figured out that Taco Bell's ground beef is the devil to my colon. I can eat the steak and chicken items with no adverse effects. But anything with ground beef, well, hurts about 30 minutes later. Sadly, I may have to give up pork chops, too. They don't hurt me so much as those around me after I eat them. The methane that is produced is quite deadly.

I guess I'll admit it. If you didn't know already, my shit really stinks. Therefore, the air freshner is stocked in abundance. On a completely different tangent, NEVER BUY CHEAP TOLIET PAPER! NO EXCEPTIONS! Good t.p. is the one luxury item I refuse to live without.

Here's a fun link for you! Hold your nose.

Friday, May 20, 2005

10 Things I Think: About Star Wars

The Big Movie is out. And, no, I have yet to see it. We have tickets for Sunday at 1:15pm, it being the kid's birthday and all. But, I have been rummaging around the internet to get other's reactions to the movie and just for my own nostalga. After reading what everyone had to say, after visiting a few fan sites and after a few moments of reflection, I have a few things I'd like to say:

1) I am quite possibily the only person who likes the Episode 1 and Episode 2. Granted, it took a few viewings to really start liking Attack of the Clones, but I do like it.

2) Jar Jar Binks - Not nearly as annoying as people make him out to be. Nute Gunray does, however, get on my nerves.

3) Greedo shot first. Deal with it. Yes, Greedo is a horrible shot.

4) "The Original Trilogy is vastly superior to the Special Editions"/"Why did George Lucas fuck up the Original Trilogy?" - Here's the answer, let it sink in. The Star Wars Trilogy is his property and he wanted to tweak somethings to make it fit his vision. This is NO different than the Director's Cut of any other movie. This is NO different than putting 30 bajillion minutes of deleted scenes back into the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. I don't hear bitching about that...

5) "Ewok" is "Wookie" with the syllables reversed. No wonder they are small, cute and short haired where as Wookies are tall, scary and long haired. Wow... That's imagination hard at work Georgie...

6) How can "Revenge of the Sith" be taking shots at President Bush when the entire story started long before he took office? Feel free to compare it to Vietnam, but not the things dealing with Iraq.

7) I think to non-fans to aren't obsessed with everything Star Wars are in for a bit of a shock at finding out who Chancellor Palpitine really is in relation to Episodes 4, 5 and 6.

8) Luke did go to the Dark Side, albeit very briefly in Jedi. He subdues Darth Vadar with his rage and anger in the fight.

9) If R2D2 were a human being, he'd be a cocky Indy Racing league driver.

10) Anyone wanna let me play the Star Wars Roleplaying Game with them?

Addendum:
11) "Anakin's such a whiney baby." - Like Father, Like Son.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Any Dream Will Do...

Last night, I dreamt about the end of the times. The time when the righteous take their eternal place in heaven while the scalliwags lie in torment in the fiery pits of hell. This was not one of my “Everything White” dreams. It was different, dark and gritty, and played like a movie.

I remember we were at my parent’s house when something drove me to go outside. My family came with me into the backyard. There, my father held my son’s hand who held mine and I held my wife’s. We all held hands as we were engulfed by the most beautiful light. A big white ball – the sun, I thought – glowed brightly enough to turn the enitre blue sky a pinkish-white.

Soon, a feeling of realization came over me and I was at peace. This was not the sun freakishly burning. No, it was God himself. Something, I assume it was Him or one of His Angels, spoke to me not to be afraid, that it would all be over soon. I comforted my family as they didn’t seem to understand what was happening.

The winds picked up and the light grew whiter. I clung my son’s hand reassuring him that all was well. The light saturated the landscape as we stood there and suddenly, in an instant, everything was dark and silent. At peace.

As we stood there in the darkness, I told my family not to worry. The darkness would be gone soon and then we’d live eternally in heaven. After all, that was worth the wait in the moments of pitch black.

It began to rain. My wife shrieked that it was raining blood. We couldn’t see the rain in the darkness but we could feel its coldness hitting our skin. To me, it felt like a cool summer rain, the kind that makes you want to play in. It was refreshing to stand there with the water washing away any fears we had.

When the light came back, we were still in the backyard. Everything was exactly how it was before the God-light showered the world. Color had returned from its white saturation. Bird churped and the trees swayed in the wind. Nothing was wet. It was like nothing had happened. Only a feeling that everything was now... better. Stillness and peace had come over us all.

We walked to the front of the house where we found several people hanging out on the driveway. I recognized them all as members of my church, The Crux. I remarked to my wife, “Look, there’s Amy. God wouldn’t have forgotten to take her. This must be heaven.” We smiled with the knowledge that we were allowed into Heaven. I greeted Amy with a hug. It was a very reassuring, friendly hug that I received back. We spoke for a little while about the importance of what just happened.

And that was it. There was another part to my dream but for a few reasons I’m not including it. For one, I don’t remember it nearly as vividly. Only in bits and pieces. Sure, I remember walking on ledges in a futuristic cityscape (I struggled not to fall a few stories down) and there was definitely a figure I called “Blue.” I think Blue was perhaps my guardian angel. But, I don’t remember what Blue looked like. I guess he looked like, well, an angel surrounded by glowing blue light instead of white. And I think these bits happened before The End. It was possibly another dream entirely. Was it the Warehouse District in New Orleans, perhaps? Likely, this part of the dream was induced by playing Grand Theft Auto: Vice City and watching parts of Phantom Menace before going to bed.

I have no interpretations today. Feel free to leave your own in the comments. Please, only serious interpretations...

Monday, May 16, 2005

Star Wars: Clone Wars Volume One

Here's a review I did for my church's news bulletin:

Star Wars: Clone Wars first appeared on Cartoon Network as three-minute animated episodes (20 in all). Now, the microseries makes it's way to DVD.

The action in Star Wars: Clone Wars Volume One bridges the gap between SW2: Attack of the Clones and SW3:Revenge of the Sith. The viewer witnesses the battles that made galactic heroes out of Obi-Wan Kenobi, Yoda, and Anakin Skywalker. We also see young Anakin slip further to the Dark Side.

The DVD format allows one to watch Clone Wars in it's entirety, as opposed to three minutes at a time. The original three-minute format meant there wasn't time to mess around, only what was necessary to move the story along. The end result is 60 minutes of fast-paced action and awe-inspiring battle sequences. There are no slow moments.

In one of the best battle sequences on the disc, Jedi Knight Mace Windu takes on an entire Droid Army. The two chapters that make this scene up has maybe three sentences of dialogue (a Battle Droid commanding his troops). The rest is adrenaline-pumping, lightsaber swinging bliss (Think Yoda at the end of AOTC).

Extra features two commentary tracks, conceptual art galleries, and a trailer for Episode 3 (nothing you haven't seen already). There are also two behind-the-scenes featurettes and a playable X-Box demo.

All in all, the anime-influenced Star Wars: Clone Wars Volume One is a fun ride. If you're a Star Wars Geek, it's a must have (you already have it, don't you?). If you're curious about what happens before Episode Three, it's worth a look. If you could careless about Star Wars, there's nothing here for you.

3 (non-geeks)/4(geeks) out of 5 Reels - This series is really well done, from the animation down to the storytelling. The extra features are kind of blah, though.

2 out 3 Crosses - Well, it's a story of Good vs. Evil. The Force is kind of a "religion." And, we see how evil can overtake someone's life. But, that's about it for parallels to Christianity.

*Side Note*- I'm working my way through this book and it's quite interesting how Jedi and Christians are similar. More on that once I finish the book...

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Uninspired

I haven't really felt like I've had anything important to say here in the last week. There's nothing major going on. I haven't had any revolutionary thoughts or dreams to report on. Things are kinda slow, not that I'm complaining. But I often feel like I'm cheating if I don't post here at least every other day. Yet, I don't want this place to become a "This is every little minute detail of my day" kind of blog.

That's something I've noticed alot of lately. I personally don't like to read these kinds of blogs. At the same time, I doubt people who blog this way are doing it for the same reasons I do. When I first started this website, blogging was just taking off. That was over three years ago. The blogosphere has evolved somewhat since then. More and more people are journaling, as opposed to what I consider true blogging. I'm not complaining, just observing.

So, as I struggle not to let this place become a "day-by-day, play-by-play" journal (and, really, God help you if you're really concerned with what I had for lunch - Wendy's - or what I did for 5 minutes at 10:36am), I'll leave you with a link to what has made me giggle and laugh countless times. I still cannot get enough of this. Gary Brolsma never fails to bring a smile to my face... Numa Numa, yo!

What's really scary about this is that 15 years ago, that could have been me. I realized watching this the other day that when I was younger and had very few friends, I would entertain myself by playing music and either dance to it or play air/broom guitar... outside. By the age of 16, I had mastered playing Prince's "Let Go Crazy" on air guitar. Thank goodness the internet wasn't very prominent in 1990 or instead of the Star Wars Kid, you'd be laughing at the "Fat Prince Kid."

And, Boom goes the dynamite!