The Sound of Music

Of all the musicals that I've ever been exposed to, I hate "the Sound of Music" the most. And, it takes a lot for me to use the word, "hate," to describe a musical. I really dig on musicals, man. It's probably why I generally stick to musicals when auditions, as opposed to straight-up plays. I enjoy a good musical. Perhaps, it's because I wish we could strike up a song in real life. Wouldn't that be cool? Sitting in your cubicle at work, then, *boom* everyone's singing and perfectly choreographed?

But, I digress. Yes, I hate "the Sound of Music." I must make sure to use quotation marks because, "the Sound of Music," and the sound of music are two completely different things. I love the sound of music. Music dances through my soul.

So, why do I hate, "the Sound of Music?" When I was a kid, I think it was NBC that would show the Julie Andrews movie around Thanksgiving, or maybe it was Easter. I'm leaning toward Easter. I dreaded seeing Julie Andrews spinning about on the mountains. It was my cue to run screaming from the living room and sequester myself to my bedroom. To this day, I have yet to see the movie.

I think, perhaps, it was my mother and sister to drove me to this hatred. The age I was exposed to musicals was not an age I could appreciate them. All I wanted to watch was, "You Can't Do That On Television," or, "Transformers," or, "The Great Space Coaster." Kid stuff. "The Sound of Music," ain't kid stuff.

Indeed, I have to thank my mother and my sister for driving me to love musicals. My sister was forever listening to tapes of Broadway Shows. "Cats," "Hair," "Jesus Christ: Superstar," are shows I remember not wanting to listen to 'cause my stoopid ole sister was loving them and little brother have to hate everything their stoopid older sister loves (nevermind that "Hair" and "JCS" are now two of my favs).

Then, one day, "Cats" was coming to town and my parent's got tickets for my sister's birthday. I'm pretty sure I kicked and screamed the whole way to the Sanger Theatre in New Orleans. That's about an hour and a half of kicking and screaming. Plus, I was dressed up. So, not only was I forced by the dictatorship... ahem... mom and dad to sit through a stoopid music, I WAS DRESSED UP! And, we HAAADDDD to listen to the Broadway recording on the way up. No way I'm gonna like this experience.

And, don't you know it, I fucking came out of that theatre kicking and screaming, only in my head I was dancing and singing. Believe or not (and I can understand the not... It is "Cats" after all), I loved the show. That's right, my love for musical theatre began with "Cats." Stop laughing...

Now, I love musical theatre. But, I still HATE, "The Sound of Music." "Annie" is a close second. Actor that I am, I've even sworn I'd never audition for either of them. Recently, I've been forced (thanks Zach, I blame you!) to sit through and watch, "The Sound of Music," not once, not twice, not three times, but now four with a fifth time tomorrow. And the last three times... were middle school kids performing. Numbers three and four were the understudy cast. I know you feel my pain, but at least, I'm well compensated for my trauma.

The worst thing about "The Sound of Music," is not that it's Rodgers and Hammerstein. It's not that there's a love story. It's not that there's the whole Nazi regime taking over Austria. It's not even close to being Julie Andrews. It's that the songs are fucking catchy! Here I am trying to learn my own parts for "Into the Woods," and I'm humming "Do-Re-Mi!" Truly, I must be cursed to have "The Sound of Music" stuck in my head. There is yodeling in my brain right now! What's worse is I've heard rumors of a theatre having "The Sound of Music" on their short list for their next season... AND I'M ALREADY THINKING I MIGHT BE ABLE TO LAND A PART! AAARRGGGGHHH!!!!