I tried to resist. I fought it hard. I did everything in my power. Alas, I have been defeated... I have been overcome by Degrassi High.
My wife grew up watching Degrassi High, being raised in Montana not too far from the US/Canadian border. When she discovered our library had VHS copies of the original Degrassi Jr & High School, she got our son addicted to the show. From her description, it sounded like a Canadian version of the After School specials in episode form. To say it didn't interest me would be a vast understatement.
But, what happened? I'll tell you what happened. We got cable... well, AT&T Uverse. The 400 Channel promotional package. 400 channels free for the first month. One of those channels is something called "The-N." For the past week, they have been having a Degrassi: The Next Generation Marathon leading up to the new season premiere.
On Saturday, my son asked me to watch Degrassi with him. I immediately flipped through my mental rolodex to find a good reason not to watch it. But, I thought that sitting with my son, ney, bonding with my son would be worth the torture of watching Degrassi.
So, good ol' dad started watching the damn show. And wouldn't you know it, I spent the entire freaking weekend catching up. Jimmy got shot; Craig's a cokehead; Alex is lesbo; Spinner's got nut cancer, and JT's dead. I hate Peter because he's a maniputive little twit. Emma's getting on my nerves because she's being an idiot about Shawn enlisting in the Army. Paige has a piggy face. Yet, some how I care about these silly Canadian kids whose lives are in some kind of constant turmoil. How the heck will any of these kids turn out "normal?" It must be that they're Canadian.
While watching this marathon, I realized that I... am... Snake... through and through... and my wife is Spike...
But that's not the worst part! No! Guess what marathon The N was adversting the entire weekend?!?
Saved By the Bell. That's right. Zach Morris. AC Slater. Jessie Spano. Screech. They promoted it as "Embrace the Cheese." And cheese it is. Yet, right now Lisa is turning Screech down yet again. Secretly, Zach Morris was my idol...
Of course you know, the end is near. Pray for me and this cable affliction.