Monday, August 23, 2010

All You Need is Love

This is going to sound, well, likely cliche.  But, you know there is a lot of truth behind cliches.  I want you to know this.  If you are going to love, love with all your heart, with every fiber of your soul, with every ounce of your being, you have to accept all the risks and pain, too.  Love is not an easy thing.  And I am not talking about the love between a husband and wife, really.  I just mean whatever love two people can possibly share.  A friend, a brother, a son or daughter, a God.  Love is worth the risk.

If you are going to love someone, love them with all of your being.  But while you are high on the snow-covered mountain of love that keeps your heart and body warm,  prepare yourself for the cold, foggy valley of hell that will come to put a strain on that love.  You cannot love someone, anyone, without the accepting that at some point in your relationship they will disappoint you.

But, that is exactly what love is about.  Accepting those lows, knowing they won't last forever, knowing another climax is just up the bend if you keep on loving that person.  You cannot love someone for whatever reason with accepting the pain that comes from the love of expecting something better from them.  For what is love but putting someone up on a pedestal?  At some point, they will waiver and fall off that expansive cliff.  But, realize they are only human and we all fall off our pedestals at some point.  It's human.  And that's why I love you, whoever you are.  That's why God loves you because He made you to be loved.

I have a friend who is a talented genius.  He unfriended me on Facebook over what amounts to his ego being bruised.  He has flaws.  Of course, he does. He is human.  But despite my disappointment in his reaction to events, I still love his talent and I accept the disappointment of his decision to unfriend me.

There another friend to who I absolutely love with all of my heart.  He is lost right now and is searching for direction.  But, I love him nonetheless.

My own son is the subject of so much frustration in my life.  He bit my head off today over his own frustrations.  I don't quit loving him.  I accept his anger with life and love him at all costs.

I wonder how a girl I once knew is feeling.  I know she has a very different life now and I assume she's happy.  Though, we haven't spoken to each other in many years, I still love her and what she meant in life.  I sometimes wonder if I should try to contact her, but I don't know if I can love her (aka: accept the pain that comes with it) again.

And, there's more I want to love... and maybe even do.  And I want to know if these friendships will survive and grow stronger after the first few disappointments.  It'll be interesting to see who God is intending to stick around for more than a season.

The point is if you are willing to love, you have to be willing to forgive.  You have to be willing to accept that you yourself will experience pain proportional to the amount you love a person.  If you are going to love... hard... expect to fall hard (Don't you dare think, 'That's what she said.').

And that's the lesson for today.  Love can bring you to the highest places.  It can fulfill your life and make you whole.  But you have to accept the pain that comes along with it.  If you love, you will feel pain.  And, you know, I wouldn't want it any other way.

Think of it this way...  From the song, "Seasons of Love" in Rent, the lyrics call for us to "measure your life in Love."  Well, if we measure our lives that way, the valleys are just as important as the hills.  Love is not measured just by the hills, but the distance between the summit's peak and canyon's base.

So, don't be afraid to love someone for any reason.  Yeah, you're going hit a low and wonder what the fuck.  It's going to suck so fucking much.  But, the opposite high of that is, oh, so absolutely and completely worth it.

One more thing,  Sylvia Plath taught me that.  Love.

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