Saturday, July 20, 2002

So, what can you do when you think and feel one of your close friends is dropping you? I don't know if I'm overreacting or not, but for the past 2 months or so, I've really felt that one of my closest friends doesn't want the friendship and more.

This wouldn't bother me so much, I guess, if I could understand why. We haven't had any falling outs or fights. I know that work has severely picked up for her and that keeps her super busy. And, she's taking some classes at night. So, I can absolutely understand being too busy for much else. But what I don't understand is how someone can be so busy as to not reply to several emails over the past 2 months.

Mind you, email was our main form of communication and we used to email each other probably 3-4 times a week. Just stuff like "Work sucks here. How 'bout you?" and "Insert completely stupid random thought here." Then, she had to stop emailing from work because they were cracking down on internet usage and they gave her more responsibilities, making her even more busy.

I haven't gotten any emails from her in at least a month and a half. The last time I talked to her was just over a month ago. I called to see if she wanted us to reserve tickets for our shows. We had previously talked about her coming to town to visit and see our plays. She said she didn't know if she could make it now because she might have to travel for work that weekend. No problem. I certainly understand cancelling any plans because things come up at work. It happens and I personally think work is more important in most cases. She said she'd let me know a few days later if she could make it or not. Haven't heard anything from her since. Nothing.

A few weeks ago, I emailed her to call her on all this. Still nothing. So, I don't know what to think. Is she ignoring me and cancelling our friendship? Is she really really really busy, so busy she doesn't have 5 minutes to email me and tell me to stop overacting? Is she *GOD FORBID* dead or something? Or is it something as stupid as her home computer is broken so she can't even get her email?

I'm feeling really hurt because of all this. Not necessarily because a wonderful person could be leaving my life. Not because a valued friendship could be over. But because I don't understand or know why. That's all I want to know is why. We've had such a close friendship, it's really disrespectful of that friendship not to tell me why. That's what hurts. I don't know what else there is to say or do.

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