Yeah, it's been nearly a week since I posted... Didn't I say work is kicking my ass? Oy! Am I busy... Don't ask how I found time for this post...

I broke out one of my favorite albums from college the other day -- Blind Melon. You probably know them as that band with that bee girl tap dancing in that video...What was that song? Oh yeah, No Rain.

Anyway, Blind Melon's first album left a little spot on my soul. A few of the songs and themes are always rambling back there somewhere in my head. It's probably at least partially responsible for my laidback attitude in life. In a less thoughtful statement, it was a great album to listen to high, on life or otherwise.

One song in particular, Change, still rings out in my mind. Not just the way the vocals and guitar play out of one speaker and the harmonica out of the other in the beginning, not just how in the middle I can't help but singing, not even how frusturating that this is the one song I know my voice can't do any justice to.

This song, I think, encompasses my entire outlook on life...

I don't feel the sun's comin' out today
its staying in, its gonna find another way.
As I sit here in this misery, I don't
think I'll ever see the sun from here.

And oh as I fade away,
they'll all look at me and say, and they'll say,
Hey look at him! I'll never live that way.
But that's okay
they're just afraid to change.

When you feel your life ain't worth living
you've got to stand up and
take a look around you then a look way up to the sky.
And when your deepest thoughts are broken,
keep on dreaming boy, cause when you stop dreamin' it's time to die.

And as we all play parts of tomorrow,
some ways will work and other ways we'll play.
But I know we all can't stay here forever,
so I want to write my words on the face of today.
and then they'll paint it

And oh as I fade away,
they'll all look at me and they'll say,
Hey look at him and where he is these days.
When life is hard, you have to change.


I know that the song says "when life is hard, you have to change" but I prefer to think that it's more about adapting to a situation than changing who you are. You can adapt to any circumstance without changing the person you are inside.

Notice the song starts out gloomy. The sun's not coming out today, the skies are grey, but there's still hope. The sun is going to find a way to come up no matter what. A soul will be itself under any circumstance.

As I sit here in this misery, I don't think I'll ever see the sun from here.

Yeah, the sun isn't shining, life sucks, but you know what? Fuck that. If I want the sun to shine on my life, then I've got to do something about that.

And oh as I fade away, they'll all look at me and say, "Hey look at him! I'll never live that way." But that's okay they're just afraid to change.

This actually reminds me of high school. Despite all the ridicule I went through then, I think the people who made fun of me did so because they secretly were jealous of me because I was a free spirit, in a word, myself. I wasn't held down by all the cliques and cliches of high school. They looked at me and couldn't live that way because they were afraid of change. They couldn't leave their clique to be an individual. That's what life's about -- being an individual.

When you feel your life ain't worth living, you've got to stand up and take a look around you then a look way up to the sky. And when your deepest thoughts are broken, keep on dreaming boy, cause when you stop dreamin' it's time to die.

These lines are pretty self-explanatory. Don't stop dreaming. Don't stop being who you are because in the end that's all you really have.

And as we all play parts of tomorrow, some ways will work and other ways we'll play. But I know we all can't stay here forever, so I want to write my words on the face of today. And then they'll paint it

Again, rather self-explanatory. As we're learning who we are, we are also figuring out what pushes our buttons and what pleases us. Life is short, so make the most of it and make your mark. I think what Shannon Hoon, God rest his soul, meant by "and then they'll paint it," is that the best way to be remembered is by being yourself.

Quick sidebar to explain that last thought. I joined a fraternity in college. Many of my friends couldn't believe it because I am definately not the "frat type." But, I did. And from that I got one of the best compliments I think I ever could receive. A friend told me that even though I joined a frat, I remained an individual. Get it now?

And oh as I fade away, they'll all look at me and they'll say, "Hey look at him and where he is these days. When life is hard, you have to change."

Notice the change from the first chorus. It's later in life and the person is going away, possibly even dying. Everyone looks at him and says, "Wow, look at him. He's remained himself all this time." And you get the hint that they wished they could have been like that. They wish the could have been themselves throughout it all. They couldn't adapt well-enough and become something they are not...

When life is hard, yes, you have to change. But not who you are...