Tuesday, July 08, 2003

Wainwright, we hardly knew thee. Wainwright was what we were calling it for the time being. I don't think we would seriously name a kid Wainwright, but that was what we called the possiblity. Well, this month, we don't have to worry about it. Let's just say there's very good proof that we are, after nearly two years of trying, still haven't conceived.

For a few days, I didn't even realize that Wainwright was a possibility. I don't think I noticed my wife having any symptoms until I caught her reading a book from her first pregnancy. She was double-checking her sympyoms. Over the next few days, we kept comparing her symptoms with the book and other sources. We were 98% positive Wainwright was in there. Even the kid, who has never liked the idea of a brother or sister, was ok with the thought of his mommy being pregnant.

We started thinking about the future. Nothing like Wainwright's college tution or anything like that. Simplier things like when to tell people. Could we fly to Florida for Xmas? She'd be near her third trimester when you're not supposed to fly. What about insurance if I was on a job search? A lot of what ifs. Nothing we couldn't handle or answer.

It's interesting how nature takes it course. Soon, we didn't have to worry about any of those questions. Nature took care of the answers for us. Certainly not the answer we wanted, but what can you do?

As sad as we are about saying goodbye to Wainwright, I do have to wonder if it's for the best. We could use a house before having another kid. It's probably not a great idea to be on a job search when the wife is pregnant. She certainly couldn't do much to help if we moved. Plus, I imagine it would be difficult to get hired when your obviously pregnant.

As sad as I am without Wainwright, right now, we probably need the money more than we need another child. Perhaps, God is really looking out for us that way.

No comments: