Tuesday, July 29, 2003

Yeah, it�s late. Fuck it. I like these questions. At least, I did them� So here�s Tuesday�s Friday Five:

If your life was a movie, what would the title be?
Um� Everything Grey: The Musical. What? You�re reading the screenplay�

What songs would be on the soundtrack?
Well, since it�s a musical, we could �Moulin Rouge� it and use popular music to drive the story. Songs to include:
What You Wish For � Guster (Open or Closing Credits)
What A Good Boy � Barenaked Ladies
I Could Be Your Angel � The Hatters
Hair � Hair Soundtrack
I Got Life � Hair Soundtrack
among a host of others...

Would it be a live-action film or animated? Why?
It would be a live-action musical, of course, with highly complicated choreography.

Casting: who would play you, members of your family, friends, etc?
ML � Drew Carey. It�s a comedy.
Wifey � Nicole Kidman or Debra Messing (if it�s a TV biopic)
Kid � Dewey from Malcolm in the Middle
Patrick � Eric Stoltz
Jeff � Steve Zhan (for the stupid Jeff scenes) and Donald Louge? (for the fat Jeff scenes)
Mom � Doris Roberts
Dad � Michael Caine
Sister � Helen Hunt
Bro-In-Law � Paul Reiser
Gail � Page Davis

Describe the movie preview/trailer.

It�s only happens once in a lifetime�
Clip of just-delivered new born with mother and father

A movie so powerful�
Fart sound, people passing out

So moving�
Soundbite in the rain: �You had me at hello�

So magnificent comes along�
Clip of alien ship

*record scratch*

This ain�t that flick.

*cue Liz Phair�s �Ride�*

A comedy so wacky...
Soundbite: �You win some. You lose some. Either way, you can have a beer�

So bizarre...
Clip of fantasy orgy with ML, Wifey, Liz Phair, and assorted persons

So� choreographed.

Clip of the Dance Off

This fall, you�ll laugh, you�ll cry, you�ll dance! You�ll believe that Nicole Kidman could fall for Drew Carey�

*Music changes to Guster �What You Wish For�*

From the producers of His Sister, it�s not black...
Soundbite: �Yo� Sup! For rizzle my nizzle�

It�s not white.
Clip showing very white, hairy stomach and women screaming and fleeing the hot tub

*Music changes to the pounding typmany ending of Space Odessy*

It just � is� Everything Grey: The Musical.

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