Wednesday, March 30, 2011

ML - Nice Guy

I feel like I must respond to this.

12 Reasons Women Can't Stand Nice Guys by Lucia

Please take a few minutes to read the article. Then, come back for my response.

All read up now?  I'm a nice guy who is happily married (meaning out of the dating scene, so who cares), so I'm not sure why I feel the need to respond to this dreck.  Perhaps, it's because I am a nice guy.  Perhaps, it's because I hope the women I know don't feel the same.  And really, if my lady friends feel the same as Lucia, man, I really need to rethink our friendship.

Anyway, I think I'll go point by point in rebuttal.

1.  NOT REAL.  Nice guys are about as real as it gets.  We fuck up relationships.  A lot.  Over stupid things.  A lot.  Since, we are mature nice guys, we are able to work past fucking thinks up in order to MAKE THE RELATIONSHIP BETTER and STRONGER.  Perhaps we don't want to "upset the apple cart" because... WE REALLY LOVE YOU and like the part of our relationship where we are real and nice together.  If you have a problem with that, perhaps it's not because I'm not real and nice, but you have trust issues.

2.  RESPECT.  I am not a doormat.  You do not get to walk all over my feelings.  I am a very generous person to the people I love because I love and respect them.  I am not controlled, but give of myself freely.  That generally garners all the respect that I need.

3.  PREDICTABLE.  Bad boys are just as predictable as this article claims nice guys are.  The difference is yourself.  What you think is predictable in Nice Guy Johnny, another (sane) woman finds mysterious or spontaneous.  You see, this is the basis of forming compatible relationships.  We discover what we like and don't like in people and finally end up in love with the perfect person... for US.

4.  MOTHER NATURE. Women are designed to nurture... Somehow this means that nice guys don't need to be nurtured.  I don't think it is a stretch to say that nice guys tend to be those sensitive fellows I hear women want.  Is there no challenge nurturing a sensitive, nice guy?  Really?  Really?

5.  FIXER-UPPER.  So, nice guys don't have issues?  Well, maybe compared to your (Lucia's) insanity spewed forth here they don't.  Though she hit the nail on the head with the talk about "if they are busy 'fixing' someone else, they don’t have to look at what needs to be fixed in their own lives."  Spot on.  And that's really the problem here.  It's not about nice guys vs bad boys, it's you have issues and are not mature enough to deal with them.

6.  SPERM WARS. Actually, I think I would prefer a future where bad boys weren't so revered.  Perhaps, if we as human beings stopped hooking up with bad boys, thereby perpetuating the possibility that more bad boys (it's in the genes, right?) would be born and raised, we could achieve so much more.  Perhaps, in the future we'd be better off with more nice guys around. 

7.  FEAR OF INTIMACY.  Sex does not equal intimacy. When I was in the dating world, the scariest thing in the world was reaching out to hold someone's hand.  With bad boys, sex equals intimacy and you are missing so much wonderfulness if you settling for sex = intimacy.

8.  LOW SELF-ESTEEM.  Again, you have issues.  Nice guys tend to help raise your self-esteem. Bad boys tear it down.  Is it really that difficult to choose?  Please seek help if it is. 

9.  SEX.  Um... nice guys only care about one thing in bed.  You.  And you are complaining about that? 

10.  HOT.  I suggest you watch COPS or America's Most Wanted.  Or the Dumbest Criminals Ever. 

11.  CHARM.  Yes, bad boys tell you want you want to hear.  Nice guys tell you what you need to hear and in a nice way.  Another way to put it is nice guys are honest with you. 

12.  PROTECTION.  I will say this once.  When I love you, you are protected.  I am not mean or violent but when you are in trouble, I will do whatever is necessary to protect you.


Eddie said...

Wow. That article of hers was depressing. I kinda want to write an article called "Why Men Prefer Slutty Girls," see if I can hit the same low.

ML said...

I think the title would be longer than the article itself...

"Because they are slutty," pretty much sums it up, no?