Tuesday, September 17, 2002

I don't have a cat anymore, but if I did, it wouldn't be a surprise to learn that my cat hates you.

I miss my Mallory sometimes. The long story short is that I moved into a place that didn't allow pets. So, I asked a friend with 6 cats, 2 dogs and 2 iguanas if she could stay there until I could get a place that did allow pets. Well, then ended up moving to Seattle and I never was able to get a place that allowed pets. Mallory was already well acclimated to living with the zoo, so we all thought it best if she went with them. And from what I understand she's the Alpha-bitch cat now. LOL!

2 stories about Mallory that will tell you all about her attitude. First of all, cat owners know this, but cats talk to you and you talk back to them. And everyone understands each other. Owners speak a human language and cat's meow, but you understand each other.

(Story 1) So, I was sitting at my computer doing my morning news check routine. I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich sitting on the desk to my right. Mallory comes up and says:
"Hey, are you going to feed me? I want some food now."
"Relax, Mallory, as soon as I'm done checking my email and the news I wil fill your bowl"
So, uh, you're not feeding me now? Is that right?
"Well, yes, but I'll just be 2 minutes and then you can eat"
"2 minutes? That's not good enough. I want to eat NOW"
"Oh, relax. You'll get your food in a minute."
"So let me get this right. You're not getting up to feed me right now?"
"No. Not at this moment."
At this point, she gets up on her hind legs and touches her front paw to my PB&J.
"Well, you're not gonna eat that now, so why don't you come feed me. I'll be at my bowl."
She smiled at me and casually walked away knowing that she ruined my breakfast.

The other story is why I called her Mallory. I am a firm believer that you can't name any pets right away. You have to give them a few days to show you their personality and give them a befitting name. Mallory was a very playful, insane, psycho kitty. At night, I would crawl into the bed rub my feet together. She would attack the monster under the covers. Neither of us slept much. She would claw at the speaker wires to my stereo, even broke them once. A few days after getting Mallory, I was driving around and listening to the Natural Born Killers Soundtrack. That's when it hit me. The perfect name for my cat. She was named after Juliette Lewis' character, Mallory Knox. Quite fitting if you asked anyone who knew my cat...

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