Saturday, August 14, 2010

Introspective

From "The Journals of Sylvia Plath:"

Be stoic when necessary and write - you have seen a lot, felt deeply, and your problems are universal enough to be made meaningful - WRITE.

As I read though Ms. Plath's journals, I'm nearly shocked at how similar our thinking is. She writes with such passion in her journals. I can't help but feel exactly the same way, not just as she states in the above quote, but strangely throughout the diary entries I've read so far.

But what confuses me somewhat is her use of the word "stoic." As defined, "stoic," means "of or pertaining to the school of philosophy founded by Zeno, who taught that people should be free from passion, unmoved by joy or grief, and submit without complaint to unavoidable necessity." (On a side note, how different is stoicism from... Not Living?)

How can she write so passionately about love, grief, relationships, etc. yet be stoic about it? How can she be free from passion, unmoved by joy or grief, and still write "To A Jilted Lover," or "Mad Girl's Love Song?"

How can I write stoicly?  Isn't the point, to put all my passion and heart into writing?

Perhaps what she means here is be stoic in life, but not on the written page.  Put all the emotion on to paper.

I'm quite happy that I'm rediscovering my voice.  Not just here, but I've started putting words - emotions - down on paper again.  Poems or potential lyrics.  They aren't great; certainly not good enough to share here yet.  But, I'm rediscovering that fire and I like it.  In fact, now I'm a bit sad that I gave my guitar away and haven't played a note of music in... well, a long time.

When did I change?  Did I somewhere lose the burning from the fire in my heart?  When was that?  When did I become stoic?

I never asked to be great.  Or famous.  Or recognized.  But I never wanted to be normal. 

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