Butterfly

This isn't the greatest of pictures. It's overexposed and the subject is out of focus. But, I took this picture with my camera phone while doing missions work for Hurricane Katrina relief in Gulfport, MS. And, it doesn't need to be perfect to tell a story. There's well over 1000 words to this picture.

The story behind this picture is one filled with God's love for his children and the hope He fills us with. To me, this picture is all the proof I need to know God exists, is real, and loves us.

On the last day we'd be working in Gulfport, we were assigned to clean up just one yard. The house was maybe 3/4 of a mile from the Gulf of Mexico and maybe a mile or so from the port in Gulfport. You could see both from the house.

When Katrina crashed the shore, the waves were strong and powerful enough to overturn a barge at the port and dump its contents in this yard. This particular barge was filled with pork bellies. Not the kind you'd find in Congress, mind you, actual bellies of pork. By the time we arrived for clean up, they had been sitting in the sun, through the elements, for nearly eight weeks. You cannot possibly imagine how rank and foul the smell was.

We were at least thankful that the pork bellies were wrapped in plastic. Some packages also contained chicken. Well, curdled and liquefied remnants of chicken. Apparently, chicken rots faster than pork bellies. Most of the plastic was in tact, so the rotten meat almost cooked itself while sitting in the sun. The plastic made the work less queasy - we just had to pick them up by the plastic. I cannot imagine being able to get through this job without the plastic. Some of the packages were solid, yet squished in your hand. Not a pleasant feeling.

Besides pork bellies, mountains of fallen trees, wood, leaves and pine needles had risen in the yard. Our job was to clean up this mess. We arrived at 8am with everyone wearing face masks to avoid the rotten stench. The masks certainly did help, but the putrid stink still made it to our nostrils.

We made good headway by lunchtime. Two piles of debris were forming: one for the wood, one for the pork bellies. The people who worked at the church we stayed at could smell the rotten pork bellies when we got back for lunch.

By 2pm, the sun had warmed the air enough to make wearing the breathing mask heavy, hot and cumbersome. By that time, we were used to the smell enough as to not really notice it. Most did away with the masks. After a job well done, we returned to the church for showers and dinner. Many people threw away their clothes. More than a few burned them.

To say the least, this yard was a horrible mess. How can you find God in such a stank, rotten area of decay? Well, that's where the picture comes in.

You see, in the middle of the yard was this one bush that was thriving, seemingly untouched and unharmed by Katrina's wraith. And, for the entire day, three of these beautiful butterflies flew around the bush. You couldn't get from the debris to the pile without passing the bush. Twenty or so people walked back and forth passing the butterflies each time. Yet, they didn't fly away. It was a beacon for the good work God was doing in Gulfport. Despite the horrendous stench and over all feeling that the literal bowels of hell were scattered throughout the yard, there was God shining through.

The Sound of Music

Of all the musicals that I've ever been exposed to, I hate "the Sound of Music" the most. And, it takes a lot for me to use the word, "hate," to describe a musical. I really dig on musicals, man. It's probably why I generally stick to musicals when auditions, as opposed to straight-up plays. I enjoy a good musical. Perhaps, it's because I wish we could strike up a song in real life. Wouldn't that be cool? Sitting in your cubicle at work, then, *boom* everyone's singing and perfectly choreographed?

But, I digress. Yes, I hate "the Sound of Music." I must make sure to use quotation marks because, "the Sound of Music," and the sound of music are two completely different things. I love the sound of music. Music dances through my soul.

So, why do I hate, "the Sound of Music?" When I was a kid, I think it was NBC that would show the Julie Andrews movie around Thanksgiving, or maybe it was Easter. I'm leaning toward Easter. I dreaded seeing Julie Andrews spinning about on the mountains. It was my cue to run screaming from the living room and sequester myself to my bedroom. To this day, I have yet to see the movie.

I think, perhaps, it was my mother and sister to drove me to this hatred. The age I was exposed to musicals was not an age I could appreciate them. All I wanted to watch was, "You Can't Do That On Television," or, "Transformers," or, "The Great Space Coaster." Kid stuff. "The Sound of Music," ain't kid stuff.

Indeed, I have to thank my mother and my sister for driving me to love musicals. My sister was forever listening to tapes of Broadway Shows. "Cats," "Hair," "Jesus Christ: Superstar," are shows I remember not wanting to listen to 'cause my stoopid ole sister was loving them and little brother have to hate everything their stoopid older sister loves (nevermind that "Hair" and "JCS" are now two of my favs).

Then, one day, "Cats" was coming to town and my parent's got tickets for my sister's birthday. I'm pretty sure I kicked and screamed the whole way to the Sanger Theatre in New Orleans. That's about an hour and a half of kicking and screaming. Plus, I was dressed up. So, not only was I forced by the dictatorship... ahem... mom and dad to sit through a stoopid music, I WAS DRESSED UP! And, we HAAADDDD to listen to the Broadway recording on the way up. No way I'm gonna like this experience.

And, don't you know it, I fucking came out of that theatre kicking and screaming, only in my head I was dancing and singing. Believe or not (and I can understand the not... It is "Cats" after all), I loved the show. That's right, my love for musical theatre began with "Cats." Stop laughing...

Now, I love musical theatre. But, I still HATE, "The Sound of Music." "Annie" is a close second. Actor that I am, I've even sworn I'd never audition for either of them. Recently, I've been forced (thanks Zach, I blame you!) to sit through and watch, "The Sound of Music," not once, not twice, not three times, but now four with a fifth time tomorrow. And the last three times... were middle school kids performing. Numbers three and four were the understudy cast. I know you feel my pain, but at least, I'm well compensated for my trauma.

The worst thing about "The Sound of Music," is not that it's Rodgers and Hammerstein. It's not that there's a love story. It's not that there's the whole Nazi regime taking over Austria. It's not even close to being Julie Andrews. It's that the songs are fucking catchy! Here I am trying to learn my own parts for "Into the Woods," and I'm humming "Do-Re-Mi!" Truly, I must be cursed to have "The Sound of Music" stuck in my head. There is yodeling in my brain right now! What's worse is I've heard rumors of a theatre having "The Sound of Music" on their short list for their next season... AND I'M ALREADY THINKING I MIGHT BE ABLE TO LAND A PART! AAARRGGGGHHH!!!!

Faith, or lack thereof...

Talk about being persecuted because of your faith...

Pray for Abdul Rahman. He converted from Islam to Christianity 16 years ago. In Afghanistan, this is considered a rejection of Muslim faith and is punishable by death. A little extreme in my opinion, but this is the country that was once ruled by the Taliban. To make matters worse for Rahman, his own family turned him in to the police. That's gotta hurt...

Yet, despite the painful events transpiring in Rahman's life, there is hope and love. Matthew 5:10-12 says, "Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you." Jesus said that and is part of the Beatitudes.

While Rahman might be in jail and staring down at death, I pray God blesses him with strength to endure this persecution. And, I pray that he continues to keep his faith in Jesus Christ. The reward of heaven is a far better treasure than anything this earth offers and well worth the insignificant and temporary pain and suffering we endure while on it.

According to the article, the prosecutor offered to drop all charges if Rahman converted back to Islam. In other words, renounce your faith or die. I applaud Rahman for sticking to his faith in Christ and refusing the prosecutor's offer. That's true faith, my friends.

We get tangled up in life so easily. Last night, I was in bed for 10:30, at least 30 minutes before my normal bedtime. I was thinking I needed to pray. But, I got lazy about it. I started talking to God about things and was asleep before long. I didn't make the time I should have taken. Heck, with thirty minutes out of bed and on my knees, I still would have been asleep earlier than usual.
Now, there's this guy facing the death penalty because of his faith, because of his devotion to Jesus. And I can't find 30 minutes to build on my own relationship with JC? Rahman could die for his beliefs and the best I had to offer is lazy prayer? How's that for perspective?

While I highly doubt I'll be in a similar situation as Mr. Rahman (thanks to a thing called Freedom), I would like to think that I would react similarly. I mean, in daily, everyday living, I struggle to pursue God. Yes, that's true. But, when it comes to putting my faith in Him, if my choices were a bullet in the skull or renounce my faith. Lord, I think the choice is easy. Then again, I'm not in, and doubt I'd ever be in, that situation - Praise be to God (and give me protection and strength, Lord, if I am).

It seems the daily, everyday living test of Faith is carving out time for God. Going to bed later or getting up earlier. Fasting during your lunch hour. Putting the Playstation controller down. Turning off American Idol. Logging off Myspace and the internet. Truly, there are countless ways to find time to spend with God. As Matthew 5:33 says, "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." The daily, everyday living test is sacrificing our time to build our Faith. Carve out the time and the kingdom can be yours.

While Fasting...

I’ve decided to start fasting on Tuesdays. From 8am to 5pm, the only thing I will consume is water when I’m thirsty. It seems like I’m just skipping my lunch meal, but the practice is much more than missing one meal.

During my lunch hour, I will take the time to read the Bible and journal (like I’m doing now). Today, I’m continuing to read the Book of Ecclesiastes, which I’ve found so far to be very eye opening. Take Ecclesiastes 10:18 – “If a man is lazy, the rafters sag; if his hands are idle, the house leaks.”

This verse doesn’t not just refer to man’s laziness. It symbolizes how we should pursue God. If we do no constantly pursue God, we become more susceptible to sin. We cannot be lazy in our pursuit of God. God wants a relationship with us but He wants US to pursue that relationship. He wants us to be constantly living in grace and in holiness. But, we cannot just BE holy and righteous. No, we have to get out our Bibles and learn God’s word. We have to make time, no, TAKE time to humbly pray. And, we actively have to change our hearts to submit to the will of God. We have to LIVE holy and righeous lives.

Later in Ecclesiastes 11:6, the Teacher (possibly the author of this book) says “Sow your seed in the morning, and at evening let not your hands be idle.” The Teacher reaffirms the idea of pursuing God and not being lazing in building that relationship. He seems to be saying get your work done during the day, but don’t just sit there at night. Work just as hard on your relationship with God as you do during work hours. While the work provides a paycheck, which provides food to live on, so must you provide food to your soul. In fact, your soul is probably hungrier than your stomach and needs more nourishment, which is what fasting is all about.

Fasting is more than just abstaining from food. At its essence, it is denying yourself of some pleasure – a period of self-denial. In my case, I'm denying myself food. By fasting, we allow for time to spend in prayer, in relation with God. The hunger pains I am starting to feel are a constant reminder that I need food to sustain my life. They symbolize the soul’s need for God’s nourishment.

Ecclesiastes 12:10 says, “The Teacher searched to find just the right words, and what he wrote was upright and true.” When it comes to blogging, I can think of no better level to aspire to. When it comes to writing about Christ and God’s truth, I relentlessly pray God will help me find the right words and that they will be interpreted as true. That’s all I hope for this blog to be.

Into The Woods

Just when I'm happy to have been cast in one of my favorite shows, I realize how friggin' difficult the music is. I shouldn't be surprised. "Into The Woods" is Sondheim, after all. In fact, I think I'm grateful I have a tiny part and sing in the chorus parts. That's less stressful.

Really, I didn't think learning the music to one of my most beloved musicals would be this hard. There are rounds, there are odd time signatures, there are unsyncipated rythems. And that's the just the chorus parts. ARGH! The leads have to have their timing down or the whole show is fucked. Not that I think our leads won't nail it. This is, after all, a very incredibly talented cast.

Thankfully, we are blessed to have Joe Trakimas as our vocal director. I *heart* Joe. And I've only known her for a week. She's is such a great vocal director. She's teaching us about breath control and supporting. AH... I haven't heard those words from a vocal director since college. Her vocal directing is music to my ears. And, such a southern lady she is. What with the "sugars" and the "honeys."

I just want to hug her and say "I love you, Joe." But, that would be kind of awkward since the only things I've ever said to her are, "Hello," "yes ma'am," and, "Good Night." That might be a little too weird...